Q-tip

It was an interesting day for people watching today on the bus.  I thought that the woman in front of me might be a bit of a character.  How did I know?  Well, the fact that she was wearing a nylon on her head was my first clue.  When she got off the bus, I saw her in profile and was mesmerized by her artistic eyebrows!  They were clearly drawn on and had sort of a feathered effect to them.  And, there were double eyebrows about each eye!  As if she had not two but four eyebrows!

When I was in grad school and working at the UWM library, there was a guy who always caught my attention.  I thought of him as a living q-tip as he was long and thin and his head was covered in white, fuzzy hair--much like a cotton ball or q-tip!  I still see him around town and I remember these early memories of him from several years ago.  Well, q-tip boarded the bus today, much to my delight!  It doesn't get much better than that!

The Smells on the Bus Go Round and Round...

It's been a few weeks since I updated the blog.  Clearly, I have been a little lazy.  So, here's a tale for you.  Yesterday was not a stellar day on the bus.  I boarded and took my seat.  An older fellow was sitting in front of me.  And he smelled so strongly of cigarettes--it was as if he smoked an entire pack immediately before boarding. Little did I know what was in store for me.  A fellow sat next to me and other than fidgeting some and wiping his nose on his bare arm, he was perfectly fine.  Shortly after he departed, a larger, older woman sat next to me.  Or on me, more accurately.  She was touching me far too much (there is no acceptable amount of touching on the bus, of course).  After plastering myself against the wall to avoid her meaty leg, I noted an odor.  Or odors, really.  Gentle readers, it was the smell of unwashed bodily orifices from below the belt.  I was driven to smell my own fingers for some relief.  And suddenly, the Marlboro Man in front of me didn't seem as bad.  My stinky neighbor also had some serious self talk going on and her hands were in almost constant motion, fluttering around like humming birds.  I was VERY relieved when she charged to the front of the bus and announced to the driver that she needed the next stop.  I'd also suggest that she needed a shower!

Dictation

Today, it seemed that a guy was dictating some kind of news report over the phone.  He spoke loudly and it was annoying.  "XYZ comma, new sentence, new paragraph," etc.  It was weird.  Something about a gingerbread house land?  And apparently, his daughter is this person: http://law.shu.edu/Faculty/fulltime_faculty/Rachel-Godsil.cfm

The things you learn on the bus.

An Epic Journey

I stayed a little later at work yesterday, so today I caught a slightly earlier bus.  When I boarded, I noticed that the bus driver looked amused.  And I also noticed the very loud volume in the bus.  I found a seat towards the back and was able to observe what was going on.  There were eight drunk, loud women on the bus.  Several sat up front (in the elderly and disabled seats, which always bothers me) and then a few were in the back, behind me.  The ladies in the front were really, really loud.  They were shouting, saying things like "Mama needs a ticket to get off the goddamn bus," and waving their transfer tickets around and they had lots of questions for the poor bus driver.  They must have asked him half a dozen times if he would tell them when to get off the bus.  They were heading to Brady Street, the entire bus soon learned.  They were so drunk that I could smell the booze from where I sat.

Finally, it was time for them to depart.  They de-bused and marched right into a tattoo shop on Brady. Very interesting.  I'm sure that their tattoos will be lovely!

Once they got off, I saw that my old friend Mark was on the bus!  Remember Mark?  I only saw him from behind, but he was so familiar.  And, I noticed that he was really chatting up the rider next to him.  When he got off the bus, he loudly thanked and blessed the bus driver.  When I heard that, I knew it had to be my pal Mark!  Sadly, there was no singing this time.  Maybe next time!

An Unwanted Encounter

I sometimes take the bus south Friday afternoons if I am going to Bayview for acupuncture.  This was the case last week Friday.  It was sprinkling out, so I sat in the small bus shelter to get out of the rain.  I heard some noise and caught some motion out of the corner of my eye, which let me know that someone else joined me in the bus shelter, too.  I soon picked up his smell as well. (yuck...).  I then heard some giggling and thought to myself. "IGNORE THIS PERSON."  Well, that worked ok for a few minutes but ultimately was not a successful strategy.  I soon heard unintelligible blathering.  I eventually picked out something like, "Hey, whatsa matter wich you?"  after this was repeated several times.  I of course ignored this statement, but finally looked up to see a man so clearly wasted--he was actually sloshing around a half empty bottle of booze (sorry, I wasn't able to see what kind it was, but I suspect that it was some kind of brandy).  He asked me this a few more times until I said, feeling annoyed, "Nothing is the matter with me." I then left the bus shelter as dealing with a few light rain drops was preferable to dealing with this fool's everything.  He then followed me out of the shelter and asked me his question AGAIN.  So, I told him that he was clearly drunk and that I didn't want to talk to him.  He said ok and meandered off on his way.

Early

My afternoon bus was 6 minutes early today. He has been running late the past two week. I was on the wrong side of the street and about half a block away from the bus...sadly, no way to catch up. I guess that I will be waiting. Sigh. I was looking forward to getting home early.

However, while I waited, I did see a pair of old creepers eyeball some young ladies (could have been their granddaughters), so there's that. Yuck!

A Little Thin

While this didn't happen on the bus, I observed this happening while on the bus yesterday.  There was a seemingly friendly fellow at one of the major bus stops.  I watched him through the window as he chatted with riders getting off and on the bus.  He acted like he knew everyone--shaking hands, clapping them on the back, etc.  When he turned, I saw that he had some rather large holes in the rear of his jeans...and he was not wearing underwear.  I could see his butt!

No.

Blue Moon, Full Bus...

Interesting fails to fully capture my bus ride today. A friendly lady wanted to chat with me at the bus stop. I must have reminded her a little of her sister (she said to me a few times that we were about the same size). It seems that her sister passed away several years ago, just as she was supposed to graduate from high school. It sounds like she was a nice young woman who was very involved in her church and was a busy volunteer. RIP!

The bus was getting pretty crowded and seats were in somewhat short supply. I watched in amazement as an old bitch (sorry, she was) muttered swears and said terrible things under her breathe when a wheel chair rider boarded. The old bitch had to temporarily relocate to make room for the wheel chair to maneuver into the designated spot. I heard her say, "Can't these people ever stay home?" Now, this wheel chair passenger is always very nice. She waves to those around her and thanks them for moving. But the old bitch just stared at her...really, if looks could kill!  I mean, she was seriously cursing out this other passenger.  At one point, she pulled what appeared to be some soap out of her bag, shook it dramatically in the air, and threw it back into her bag.  It was crazy town.

Mr. Butts was also on the bus today .  I didn't see his crack today, but I was puzzled to observe that he was once again sporting another wool cap today.

And lastly, a larger fellow sat next to me (sadly, it was not Mark).  I didn't catch this man's name, but I did catch a whiff of his personal odor, which was a bit too pungent for my liking.

What a ride!

Shh!

When subjected to loud bus talkers, I often wish that there was a silent area of the bus that they could not sit in. Today, these loud women got on. One had an expired transfer, so they had to argue about that with the driver. Once they got on, they started their loud chat. A rider with a wheelchair got on, so they had to relocate. One sat next to me, the other sat across the aisle. Their loud chat continued. They were turned towards each other in such a way that their legs blocked the aisle. Those who wanted to pass them needed to turn sideways in order to do so (which I thought was super rude). Finally, one got off the bus but she had something that belonged to her friend. Her loud friend scampered after her to retrieve a packet from the other loud lady's bag. Of course the light was green while this was happening. Harrumph.

Butts

It's hot out. Today was warm and sunny. I was surprised to see a fellow board the bus, wearing a knit cap, long sleeved, black waffle knit shirt, and dark, heavy long pants. I was even more surprised to see half of his butt crack when he sat down in his seat. Yikes! 

Route 19 is Trouble

Well, I don't know what happened on a route 19 bus today...but I think it's wasn't good.  I passed it as I walked around the block over lunch and it was clearly not in service.  There were about a half dozen transit security officers inside and outside the bus, an MPD vehicle behind it, and a MPD mounted police officer, too (I didn't see the officer, just the horse...and I pet it).

That route 19 must be trouble!

Right Turn in Front of Bus is Illegal

Have you ever seen this sign on the back of a bus?  Yeah, there's a good reason why this is illegal and drivers shouldn't do it.  Cars are much smaller than buses are.

Christmas in July

MCTS is running once again.  Although I did enjoy my walks last week, I also missed my bus.  I had thought about walking home from work today, but didn't as I had other things that I wanted to do.  As you will soon read, I was very happy that I decided to ride.

The stop after I get on the bus is a busy one.  Today was no exception and seats were in short supply.  A man sat next to me and he was a bit of a space hog and strongly smelled of cigarettes.  He had a shout chat with a lady a few seats away, telling her how much he loves his girl.  While the conversation was loud, it was also kinda sweet.  After his shout chat pal left, this fellow turned his attention to me.  I soon found out that his name was Mark.  In addition to being a friendly, chatty fellow, Mark liked to sing.  Mark treated the bus to brief songs about Santa Claus, rainbow colors in the sky, and his final performance was White Christmas.

Between songs, Mark shared with me his love of his girl, his thought that one of the other bus riders would make a good dad, and a little bit about his personal medical history.  He told me that he enjoys riding the bus because he loves visiting with people and making friends.  Mark thanked me for visiting with him, blessed me and my family, and wished me a great summer.  And then he was gone.

Manners

I think the most heartwarming thing about my foray into mass transit is how impressed I am with manners overall.  I have noticed that almost every rider greets the bus driver when boarding the bus with a hello or how are you or similar pleasantry.  And upon exiting, most riders say thank you, which amazes me.  And most will wish the bus driver a good weekend on Friday as well.

I will say that every bus driver I've encountered so far has been extremely pleasant.  My favorite is the afternoon driver on the 5:05 PM bus back home.  She is a young woman and always seems to be in a great mood, even when traffic or weather are bad.  When bad traffic AND bad weather ended up in her missing a turn and ending up turned around off the freeway in Uptown, relying on help from a passenger to help her get back on the route, she was apologetic but still upbeat.  I wish I could be like this bus driver in my work.

Stoppages

I know that my loyal blog readers (all three of them) have been very worried about what the MCTS strike would mean for my afternoon commute (can't really call it an evening commute now can I?) and this blog.  Well, just because they are having a work stoppage doesn't mean that I must have a blog stoppage as well.  So, I decided to brave the urban jungle known as the Oak Leaf Trail and walk it on my way home.

When we left for work this morning, I packed up my REI back pack with necessities for my hike, including a water bottle, socks, and sneaks.  I had not fully decided on my route but thought that the the lake front was the most likely path.

At 2:30, I changed shoes and headed out.  Here I am at Mile 1, in front of the Art Museum.  I was feeling good--my Pandora Summer Hits of the 90's was keeping me moving.

Mile 2: The Brady Street Pedestrian Bridge.  Fatigue was starting to set in.  Why was I doing this?

Mile Unknown: Dangerous Wildlife.  What was this up ahead?  A giraffe?  In the wilds of Milwaukee?  Where am I?

But, something was not right with the giraffe.  While he posed no threat, he lacked life. A tragedy.

Mile 4.5: Civilization!  Otherwise known as the baseball diamond's covered shelter!  Almost home!

All told, it was about a 4.7 mile walk that I completed in 1 hour, 25 minutes.  Of course, there were some stops along the way. I will totally do this again!

Can't We All Just Get Along?

Today, I eavesdropped on a conversation between a 63 year old retired Navy Seal and a 49 year old fellow who was toting a cooler full of bottled water to sell at Summerfest.  I watched as these two seemingly opposite individuals found all kinds of common ground, from a love of Sheboygan as a nice and clean city with great fishing, to a fondness for Detroit and pool, and shared musical interests (including Pink Floyd and L.L. Cool J).  It was amazing to witness.  They shook hands and told each other how pleased they were to have met one another.  The bus really brings people from all walks of life together.

No.

The bus was busy today, the busiest that I have seen it, in fact.  I'm not sure if this has to do with Summerfest or what, but it was full.

I sat next to a small little lady.  I initially did not pay much attention to her, but then a few interesting qualities caught my eye.  For starters, she wasn't wearing her left shoe.  Instead, her BARE FOOT WAS RESTING ON THE BUS FLOOR.  Is the bus floor cleaner than that a public restroom?  I don't even know.  I also noticed that her shirt was inside out.  Ok, that can happen.  And then I spotted her wig...her wig was so crooked that her center part was hanging down around her jaw line.  Things got interesting from here.  We approached a stop, she stood up.  So I stood up to get out of her way.  She stood for a minute, looked confused, and sat back down.  This happened at the next stop, too.  She stood, I stood; she sat, I sat.  After the second repetition, I figured it out .  She continued to stand and sit for just about every stop.  I remained seated, however.  Every time she sat down, she sort of flopped down and bumped me with her large purse.  Gradually, this teeny little lady and her giant purse took over about half of my seat.

And, when it was time for her to get off, she said as sweetly as possible, "Excuse me," as she made her way passed me,

Record Setting Day!

Last week, I was off of my usual bus schedule.  I worked longer days so that I could take Friday off to spend it with my hubs.  I found the later afternoon bus to be a little too noisy for my liking.  One day, a guy sitting behind me was shouting about Jesus and singing to himself.  Lovely.

So, this week has been back to bus normal.  And, my ride home today was record setting!  Three different people sat next to me on my way home.  Mind you, my bus ride is only about 25 minutes.  And this is a new record for me!  The first fellow...well, I tried not to judge, but I couldn't help it.  He was just so very fuzzy.  I was super skeeved out because all I could imagine was his skinny, fuzzy arm or leg touching me and I just could not stand it,  I scrunched up to the bus wall.  Thankfully, he got off at Brady.  Then another guy got on and sat next to me.  This fellow knew bus etiquette.  When sitting next to someone and another seat opens up, take that seat (which he did).  Around North, another woman sat next to me.  She immediately got on her phone, which in my mind is a violation of bus etiquette.  Don't start a phone conversation as soon as you get on the bus because no one wants to hear it.

The end!

Red suitcases and cartoon characters

The red suitcase lady was back yesterday afternoon.  She'd been missing for a couple weeks.  I was worried about her.  But she was there, with the red roller suitcase, but without the empty cardboard syringe boxes.  And then, today, gone again.  Shaggy from Scooby Doo was absent on the way home today (he has been on every single bus ride that I've taken so far, to and fro).  His car was in the park and ride lot when I got back today so he must have had to work late.  Tough to work late on a beautiful sunny Friday afternoon.  Maybe he went out for a beer with friends and took a later bus instead.  I'm going to hope so.

Like Sands Through the Hour Glass...

It was back to the usual on the bus today.  An older gentleman sat next to me.  He pulled out a packet of papers and read them intently.  I am nothing if not a snoop, so I had to check it out.  Imagine my surprise to discover that he was reading an online update about the soap Days of Our Lives!  And it went on for several pages...I'm guessing that he had four sheets of paper stapled together.  When he was done with this reading, he pulled out the Wall Street Journal.

And, I believe that I spotted one of the joke tellers!

Awesome.

Oh, the Humanity! part deux

I usually enjoy riding the bus.  It is often entertaining, humorous (see jokes about pilgrims and bees), or relaxing.  Sometimes, it's sad.  However, it is rarely upsetting.  Today it was.

A young man got on the bus this afternoon, accompanied by a little boy (probably about 2 or 3 years old).  And this kid was WHINING.  He was forcing some serious crocodile tears.  And he was loud.  And it was annoying.  I heard the man pleading with the boy to stop it to no effect.  I then thought I heard him threaten a spanking.  I thought, "Okay...that doesn't seem like a good approach."  The whining continued and they got off the bus.  The man dragged the small boy by the arm down the aisle (his body was on the ground) and down the steps the same way.  This little boy's body was dragged down the bus steps!  And then he was dragged along the sidewalk, too!  And then he got spanked.  Do you think that he stopped crying?  He sure didn't.

Was his whining irritating?  Yes.  Did I want him to stop?  Sure!  Did his behavior warrant this kind of treatment?  I sure don't think so.

So, yeah...the bus was upsetting today.

Rainy Days and Mondays Don't Always Get Me Down

Today was a cool and gloomy, rainy day.  When I left work to get to the bus stop, I was thankful that the worst of the rain had passed.  However, the bus was slow in getting to the stop and I felt myself to start to get irritated.  I was a little cold and it was raining and my pants were getting soggy along the hems. But then I stopped and thought to myself, "When was the last time I was out in the rain and just enjoyed it?"  I couldn't remember a time, so I chose to enjoy it.  The rain was gentle, after all. And I was wearing a sweater.  And my umbrella is so very cheerful.  It was a perfectly fine few moments after all.

The Hubs

A young man got on the bus today and he reminded me so much of a younger version of my hubs Terry.  I don't know if it was the hair or the extreme skinniness or what, but the resemblance was uncanny.  I was tempted to take a picture, but thought better of it as I didn't want to be a middle-aged, creeper lady, taking pics of people probably 17 years younger than me while riding the bus!

Oh, the Humanity!

A young man struggled to find the correct change for his bus ride. Almost simultaneously, three fellow riders shouted out offers of transfer tickets, use of an M-Card, etc.  Suffice it to say, between all of these kind offers, he was able to ride the bus.  Sometimes, people are okay.

Lord of the Bus

Yesterday, I was RUNNING for the bus.  I made it!  Whew!  I was going to catch the 3:05 and it seems the 2:51 was running late.  So, I managed to catch the late 2:51 just as it pulled up and got home a few minutes earlier than I expected to.  Hooray!

I'm glad that I caught this bus because I enjoyed a overhearing a lengthy and detailed discussion between two bus riders about J.R.R. Tolkien and his books.  The dude who was doing most of the talking knew his Tolkien, for real (realz).  This fellow was no casual reader--he knew everything, all of it.

The Lone Ranger...Rider

For a few moments yesterday, I was the ONLY person waiting for the bus.  It was eerie.  I've never had that experience before at this particular busy and popular bus stop.  It was short lived; however, as the usual sea of humanity fairly quickly assembled to board the bus.  

Grandmummy and Grandaddy

Today, the entire bus was treated to a phone conversation between a young woman (probably mid-twenties) and one of her parents, I assume.  No one else was making any noise,  And she actually referred to her grandparents as Grandmummy and Grandaddy.  And then she went on to discuss how she needs to find a new psychiatrist, but hasn't been able to yet, and so will need to see Dr. Brooks again.  Oh, she's almost out of money, too.

I don't even know what else to say about this one.

Picasso, Or the Art of Panhandling

While I waited for the bus (and scoped out this really cute hounds tooth suit that another rider was wearing), a fellow approached.  He carried a small American flag and a piece of cardboard.  "Picasso" was written on the cardboard.  He politely asked all those waiting for the bus for spare change.  No one gave him any.  I'm not sure that his unique use of props was effective.

Carpooling Confession

I have to admit something...I've been carpooling with my hubs in the morning.  It's so great!  We get a little extra time together (without dogs barking or other distractions).  We drive along the lake, so we enjoy the scenery.  I'm right on his way, he drops me off downtown, and heads a little further west to get to his job.  It's grand.  But, I have slightly fewer blog worthy observations as a result.

PS--it is ok to be barked at by our cuties most of the time.

And the Beat Goes On...

I have a cold, complete with congestion, cough, runny nose, and sleepiness.  This makes me cranky. So, I was not my usual jolly self when I boarded the bus to come home from work today (by the by, I have a new fancy Commuter Value Pass that I use instead of the M-Card, which is pretty great--it reduces my taxable income--the cost is deducted once per month from my paycheck--and I get to use it as much as I want). And there was this dude, with actual drum sticks...loudly, drumming on his seat.  And I wanted to drum him. Yes, it seemed like he knew what he was doing, but it was very ANNOYING.  Thankfully, he wasn't on too long.  Still love the bus, though.

Musings on the Express Bus

I too have started taking the bus.  Peterson sisters on the bus, yay!  I am taking the express bus from Eagan, MN to the University of Minnesota dental school.  I love this bus because it gets to drive on the shoulders on the freeway and fly past all the traffic sitting on 35W.  I look at those cars and think, that could be me, but it's not!

My bus is very quiet.  The riders consist of professional commuters and college students.  Lots of the people I see in the morning going to the U are the same ones I see at night coming home.

My favorite lady so far comes home on the 5:05 return trip.  She is an older lady, a larger lady.  She always has a medium sized red roller suitcase (and it really rolls nice!) and two empty cardboard boxes nested in each other.  These boxes are labels has having at one time contained some sort of syringes.  I'm not quite sure what the purpose of the suitcase or the boxes are.  It fascinates me.  But she is nice and will talk to you if you show interest in conversing, but doesn't force you to go on and on if you'd rather sit and be quiet.

There is another guy, a young guy.  He reminds me of Shaggy from Scooby Doo if he were a person that might do some kind of IT support type job.  He usually has a lunch in a plastic grocery bag and a book.  He is currently reading "Flowers in the Attic" which is an odd choice for an adult man to read.  He used it as a pillow on Friday when we were coming home.  It didn't look very comfortable.

Tomorrow I have to drive my car to the U in the afternoon for training, there isn't a bus that comes back late enough.  I'm sad to have to drive.  But glad that I at least have free parking!

What are the Odds?

After I left work and crossed the street to get to the bus stop, I heard a flurry of shouts and a honking horn.  I looked up and in the car at the intersection were two of my former students--one even worked for me.  What are the odds that this would happen?  What timing!

My afternoon bus driver was very cheerful.  I believe that she was my first female bus driver as well.
One passenger had a very loud phone conversation.  It seemed to consist mostly of "You know what I'm sayin?"  No one else on the bus made a peep.

Mascara, Davy Crockett, and Denim Park

When I got on the bus this morning, it was almost empty.  I was the fourth person on--true story.

Shortly after I boarded, a young woman got on and I watched in amazement as she put on her make up.  If I tried to put mascara on while riding the bus, I'd end up jabbing myself in the eye or smearing it over about half of my face.

While this fellow was not on on the bus--just walking down the street, I spotted him while riding, so I think it counts...he was wearing a Davy Crockett style cap (with raccoon tail and all), with camouflage shorts, paired with black leggings underneath.  What a look!

And, I'm not sure who came up with the name Denim Park, but I think it's really bad.  What does that mean, Denim Park?  

Pondering a Big Question

Why do some people walk all of the way from the very back of the bus to the front to exit the bus, rather than exiting out the rear door?  I don't get it.

Chatty Cathy

The wind downtown this afternoon was comically strong.  I felt like a poorly skilled mime while walking down the block.  When I got to the bus stop, a little lady was having an animated conversation with someone who was also waiting for a bus.  She caught my eye as she was wearing a baseball cap, tied to her head with a bandanna, knotted kerchief style under her chin.  I was intrigued by this look, but after a moment, I realized she was smarter than most others who were wearing hats today.  The bandanna kept her hat in place!  It was in danger of flying off her head due to the comically strong wind!

At any rate, this little lady chatted up the bus driver as she got on the bus and her seat mate as well. And I just kept to myself.

Waiting For the Bus

Waiting for the bus this morning was a delight.  The sun was shining and the gentlest breeze was blowing.  I was so impressed by how close the bus driver pulled up to the curb without hitting it or driving over it.  I would be a disaster as a bus driver.

I'm perplexed by bus riders who like to start up conversations with anyone and everyone around them.  When I'm on the bus, I don't really want to talk to anyone.  I just want to be alone with my thoughts or read a book.  That's all.

Two little boys get on together near Humboldt.  I suppose that they are taking the bus to school. They are pretty cute.  The older one takes good care of his little brother.

All About Flowers

On this morning's bus ride, the young woman who sat next to me smelled like flowers.

During my evening commute, two older gentlemen had a loud conversation about the train wreck, Canada, fishing, and then traded jokes.

A: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

B: Bees?

A: Pilgrims!

The bus driver liked this one and asked if he could use it.

A: What is the only kind of bee that makes milk?

B: I dunno.

A; Boobees!