The Smells on the Bus Go Round and Round...

It's been a few weeks since I updated the blog.  Clearly, I have been a little lazy.  So, here's a tale for you.  Yesterday was not a stellar day on the bus.  I boarded and took my seat.  An older fellow was sitting in front of me.  And he smelled so strongly of cigarettes--it was as if he smoked an entire pack immediately before boarding. Little did I know what was in store for me.  A fellow sat next to me and other than fidgeting some and wiping his nose on his bare arm, he was perfectly fine.  Shortly after he departed, a larger, older woman sat next to me.  Or on me, more accurately.  She was touching me far too much (there is no acceptable amount of touching on the bus, of course).  After plastering myself against the wall to avoid her meaty leg, I noted an odor.  Or odors, really.  Gentle readers, it was the smell of unwashed bodily orifices from below the belt.  I was driven to smell my own fingers for some relief.  And suddenly, the Marlboro Man in front of me didn't seem as bad.  My stinky neighbor also had some serious self talk going on and her hands were in almost constant motion, fluttering around like humming birds.  I was VERY relieved when she charged to the front of the bus and announced to the driver that she needed the next stop.  I'd also suggest that she needed a shower!